


full circle

by noona96n



Series: moon u the series [1]
Category: GOT7, JJ Project, K-pop
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Getting Back Together, Light Angst, Light Smut, M/M, Minor Choi Youngjae/Mark Tuan, Minor Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Kim Yugyeom, Moving On, Non-Linear Narrative, Post-Break Up, love is a full circle, narrative heavy, not enough dialogue, too much discriptions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 05:22:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12358380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noona96n/pseuds/noona96n
Summary: full circleNo matter who he dates or how long they've been apart, Jinyoung will always love Jaebum.Or: the moments of Jinyoung’s life after Jaebum.Part 1 of moon u the series, sister story of full moon Jaebum's side of the story)





	full circle

**Author's Note:**

> Please take note of the non linear narrative tag and the narrative heavy tag. It is no joke.  
> 

**full circle**

No matter who he dates or how long they've been apart, Jinyoung will always love Jaebum.

 

**four**

Yugyeom is so easy to love, with his flirty smile and attention-grabbing look and his sassy retorts. He's so easy to find, so easy to look, so easy to love. Just like Jaebum-hyung, Jinyoung thinks and grind back sinfully against Yugyeom's crotch and groans at the friction. Of course, at this point in time, Jinyoung doesn't know his name until he's on his back with Yugyeom above him, sweat and grunts tumbling off his skin like rain.

 

**the various numbers between three and four**

In between Jackson and Yugyeom, Jinyoung goes on dates and have one-night stands. After all, he is single and in his early thirty and time and money and boredom and quite the sexual appetite. But the thing is, no one really makes him feel like he could be in love.

Either they’re too shy or too boisterous. They speak too fast, smile too easily. Some of them are too boring and other too excitable and energetic, Jinyoung can’t keep up.

Others are only looking for sex and Jinyoung finds himself thinking about Mark and his tastes for fast and dangerous things. He wonders if Mark really is happy with Youngjae and find himself getting envious when he remembers the soft look on Mark’s face when he speaks of Youngjae.

(Jinyoung knows Mark’s planning on proposing soon and he wish them both the best. They deserve all the happiness in the world.)

Other people, Jinyoung muses, wants to have something with him; dates him, kisses him, coddles him, but they always find something that they can’t handle about it. Sometimes, it’s his late-night habits, other times it’s his sass, but most of the time it’s the sound of his laughter. To be fair, only a few people like the sound of his laughter. There’s Jackson, always smiling and laughing along and grabbing his hands to stop him from hiding his laugh.

And then there’s Jaebum-hyung, Jinyoung thinks and finds himself smiling.

(He looked at Jinyoung like Jinyoung’s laughter is the melody of his life and chased the hysteria away with soft kisses.)

(It seems like everything in his life always goes back to Jaebum-hyung.)

 

**the one after four**

Yugyeom takes Jinyoung out on cute dates all the time.

They go to amusement park and night markets and Yugyeom buys him cotton candies and win him teddy bears. They go on walks by the river during the evening and share kisses by the shore. He takes Jinyoung to the book stores and sits down with him at café to read books and endures Jinyoung’s not-so-mainstream taste in music. He asks about Jinyoung’s books and reads them in intervals. Then he’d smile shyly when Jinyoung catches him nodding off with a book in his hand.

He’s so kind and understanding and Jinyoung thinks that maybe Yugyeom is the one for him.

 

**half way between four and five**

Yugyeom doesn’t move in exactly but he stays over a lot. He cooks Jinyoung lunch and dinner and reminds him to take care of himself. He laughs, he smiles, and puts his hand on Jinyoung’s lower back every time they go out.

He continues to be kind and understanding and Jinyoung feels so blessed.

Yugyeom tells Jinyoung that he loves him every day. And Jinyoung finds himself laughing and smiling and saying in return “I love you too Yugyeomie.”

Jinyoung kisses him but doesn’t feel any sparks between them.

 

**nearly five**

They’re kissing and making out when suddenly Jinyoung wishes Yugyeom’s shoulders are broader and the fingers he has inside Jinyoung are thicker. Yugyeom moans right next to his ears and Jinyoung wants that moan to have a lower pitch and wishes Yugyeom would bites his ear.

Yugyeom scissors his fingers painfully slow and plants a wet and sloppy kiss on Jinyoung’s mouth and Jinyoung wishes Yugyeom would fuck him harder.

He has to remind himself to shout the right name when he orgasms.

 

**five**

Jinyoung finds himself comparing Yugyeom to Jaebum-hyung more time than not. From the way he takes his morning coffee to how he carries Jinyoung to bed at 4 A.M. when Jinyoung collapsed on the couch from binge writing.

He finds himself thinking about Jaebum more a more in the middle of sex and knows that he is selfish and unfair.

 

**the one after five**

They break up after dating for roughly 6 months. Yugyoem cries and hugs him and kisses him and Jinyoung’s thinking about Jaebum’s broad shoulders as he pats Yugyeom consolingly.

Jinyoung stands on the tip of his toes and kisses Yugyeom on the lips. It’s gentle and soothing and Yugyeom’s breath hitches adorable. He pats the younger on his cheeks and mumbles “I’m so sorry Yugyeomie.”

The smile on Yugyeom’s face is sad but no less bright. He says “Hyung, it’s okay.”

And he says “I love you.”

All Jinyoung can do is smile tightly at Yugyeom. He wonders if he can make Yugyeom stays if he has enough courage to take his hand and pulls him back. He wonders if he can love Yugyeom properly.

Yugyeom takes his face into his palm and kisses him sweetly on the lips. He mumbles just as softly “Take care of yourself hyungie.”

This too is like Jaebum-hyung, Jinyoung thinks, down to the scrapping of small suitcase wheels against the floor.

 

**half way through five**

He’s thinking of Jaebum again and wonders if he’ll ever be rid of him.

 

**on the verge of six**

Jinyoung realizes he’s still painfully in love with Jaebum after all these years and laughs himself to tears.

 

**one**

They don’t break up because they had a big fight or because one of them have an affair. They break up because they drift apart.

Twenty-two years of knowing each other and eleven years of dating and everything ends when Jinyoung sighs too deeply and Jaebum comes home too late.

It’s a Sunday and they’re sitting on each end of the couch as they watch the shitty movie Jinyoung chose. The popcorn between them sits stubbornly untouched and the tension is broken when Jinyoung sighs and turns off the TV.

Jaebum remains still and stares blankly at the black screen.

Jinyoung sighs again and says “Hyung, I think we should take a break.”

He can see Jaebum’s shoulders relax visibly like a huge burden is lifted of his shoulders. The older male replies with a quiet “Okay.” And kisses Jinyoung on the lips before he climbs off the couch.

The sparks between them is a dull ache throbbing inside his ribcage and Jinyoung turns to his scrapbook and writes.

 

**the one between one and two but not quite half**

Jaebum is kind and understanding and they continue to share an apartment and a bed.

It’s weird but it works and they both date and have fun.

They still have dinner together sometimes and share jokes over their meals and have movie days like usual. And some mornings they still find themselves tangling with one another when they wake up but they laugh it off and go their separate ways. Because Jaebum is kind and understanding.

 

**half way to two**

Jaebum comes home one day and says “Hey Jinyoungie. I’ve been offered a position as the lead photographer in Japan.”

Jinyoung looks up from his evening cereal and smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling pleasantly with genuine happiness. He feels Jaebum’s palm resting warmly against the middle of his shoulder blades so he turns to look at him and tells him “Congratulations hyung.”

Jaebum’s smile is blinding.

And then Jaebum is kissing him. And before he knows it, Jaebum is inside their bedroom and packing his back.

Jinyoung finds himself tearing up at the dull ache inside his chest.

 

**nearly two**

About six months after their ‘break up’ and Jaebum is really out of his life.

Jinyoung finds himself tearing up as he gives Jaebum a tight hug and tells him to take care of himself. Jaebum suddenly looks at him with a sad expression and grabs his cheeks. He says “Take care of yourself, Jinyoung-ah.” And kisses Jinyoung one last time. Like his life depends on it.

Jinyoung is crying by the time they part and he’s thankful that Jaebum doesn’t mention it and just drags his suitcase away with him.

 

**six**

Jinyoung publishes the compilations of poems he wrote based on Jaebum three weeks after breaking up with Yugyeom.

He wonders if Jaebum still reads his books.

He wonders if Jaebum knows.

 

**after six**

He really need to move on from Jaebum. It’s already been seven years.

 

**two**

They don’t keep in touch.

 

**right before seven**

But how?

 

**the one after two**

Jinyoung starts dating seriously again.

 

**seven**

Jinyoung’s laughing loudly and hysterically at Jackson’s crazy antic on the dance floor. Bambam is no less loud besides him and when he glances to look at the younger, he finds the fashion designer kneeling on the carpeted floor and holding his stomach for dear life. Jinyoung can see Yugyeom trying to pull Bambam back into his seat but somehow Bambam ends up in the dancer’s laps. Yugyeom turns bright pink and Jinyoung laughs again.

It’s a modest wedding with only close friends and family. Very much like Mark’s and Youngjae’s style. But Youngjae seemed briefly upset when the reception ends until Mark put a hand on his lower back and whispers reassuringly into his ear. He blushed so prettily then and Jinyoung is envious once again.

He’s laughing again when Jackson pulls him to his feet.

Jinyoung is laughing and dancing and twirling around with Jackson when suddenly he crashes into a firm back and impossibly broad shoulders.

Mark and Youngjae peer at him from both side of the stranger. Jinyoung laughs at how adorable they are. He’s been laughing so much. And experiencing so much happiness in one day. He doesn’t think his life can get any happier than this.

And then the stranger turns around and Jinyoung thinks: ah, I was wrong, and laughs; feeling even happier than he already is.

Jaebum smiles at him and puts a hand on his lower back to steady him. They’re impossibly close and Jinyoung wraps his arms around Jaebum’s neck and tugs him down for a kiss.

It happens so fast and ends so quickly and Jaebum is resting his hands on Jinyoung’s hips. He mumbles a soft and shy “Hi.” against Jinyoung’s lips.

Jinyoung’s laughing and then he’s crying and he buries his face into Jaebum’s expensive suit jacket to stifle his tears.

He’s falling in love all over again, Jinyoung thinks and plants a kiss on Jaebum’s chest.

 

**three**

There’s Jackson, who is a singer and rapper and composer with the low-pitched voice and humor that inspires him to write and be free.

And before Jackson, there’s Mark who he takes him sky diving and bungee jumping and fucks him hard into the mattress and enjoys his quipping. He takes hands and leaps down the crane with Jinyoung and always tell Jinyoung to go for it.

And before that there’s Min-noona, the artist that sits him down and draws the covers of his books and takes him on artsy dates.

Before Min, there were Wonpil, and Jisoo, and Rose, and Seungyoon, and Jihyo.

And it’s been five years since he broke up with Jaebum. He wonders if he’d ever be able to settle down.

 

**from seven until forever**

Jinyoung wakes up to see Jaebum sleeping soundly next to him and he thinks about how happy and blessed he is to be able to wake up every day and see the love of his life.

He plants a kiss on the two moles under Jaebum’s brow and when Jaebum starts to stir, Jinyoung kisses his husband awake.  


End file.
